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I am really shocked and heart broken! Just heard that legendary and beloved fetish photographer Christine Kessler has passed away.

When I first started modeling she was kind enough to give me a chance as one of the first international photographers. Although I was still quite inexperienced we made some great work together, and continued to work together whenever we had the chance over the years, which was always a wonderful experience. I got to stay at her place where I had a nice spot on the couch with her sweet greyhound dog. She introduced me to Playboy USA and therefor contributed greatly to my career in that way. Eventually she even came to design my website, which became very successful, with all of her experience. My site has often been copied by others but it was always missing that special Steen touch.

Over the past few years she had not been shooting anymore, which I thought was a damn shame, she kind of disappeared and so we lost touch. I always hoped she would be well, I guess as some expected, that probably wasn't the case  

Dear Steeneeweenee, it is a great loss for you to be gone. You were truly a remarkable and talented person with a warm heart like not many have.

I will always remember when you dragged me along to try LA's delicious Ethiopean food, now my favorite cuisine.

I will always remember how we spent Halloween decorating your house to the tunes of Disney's Haunted mansion and scaring children, my first and only "real" Halloween ever. And your dogs all dressed up in costumes

I will always remember the funny sight of you waiting with your blue punk hair and baggy jeans of in the hallway of our fancy 5 star Beverly Hills hotel shooting location. It was the first time we met, but I knew that could only be my appointment  

I will always remember your epic home made humus and your love for cooking. How you taught me to properly handle garlic by wiggling a big knife over it.

I will always remember how, tho a very humble person, excited you were when the waitress has recognized your name and turned out to be a big fan of your work.

I will always remember the weird situations when working with a new model and other photographers. Too weird to post on Facebook  

I will always remember how you would say a picture looked good cuz I looked like I just got f*cked. Lol.

I will always remember how embarrassed you were when I forgot to tip at the pedicure (I'm Dutch! I'm sorry!) but you didn't say anything until I realized my mistake and then you said "don't worry, we're never going back there anyway." Haha.

Dear Christine, I am so glad I remember so much of what you've said to me and the things we've done and I guess I'm a blessed girl that I got to shoot as much with you as I did and we got to spend so much time together. I am really incredibly sad that you're gone.

No fair. Bye Steenee -♥


  • Mood: Tearful
  • Watching: Christine's old photos
  • Drinking: peppermint tea
Tonight I will be a guest on the Dutch comical music show "Doe maar normaal!"

www.nederland3.nl/programma/99…

at 21.20 on Nederland 3 It was a lot of fun to do; I hope it's just as funny for you guys to watch!

(Vanavond ben ik te gast bij humoristisch muziekprogramma "Doe maar normaal!" om twintig over negen op Nederland 3)
  • Mood: Lazy
  • Listening to: Calvin Harris
  • Reading: Bookkeeping for dummies
  • Watching: Doe maar normaal
  • Playing: with my new camera
  • Eating: vegan
  • Drinking: home-made sports drink
I'll be in NYC soon and looking for a couple of extraordinary talented photographer to do a collab. Leave me a note with a link to your site if you think this is you or someone comes to mind! Really looking forward to it :-)
  • Mood: Artistic
  • Listening to: Dark Jazz
  • Reading: Rich Dad, Poor Dad
  • Watching: The Devil's Double
  • Playing: with kitties
  • Eating: Speculaas
  • Drinking: espresso
Fantastic news! I will be doing an in-store meet & greet and calendar-signing in Fame store in Amsterdam this Saturday January 7th at 14hr! Come say hi!
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: Adele
  • Reading: Viva
  • Watching: Tournee
  • Playing: with boys
  • Eating: cracker
  • Drinking: orange juice
As you know I care a lot about privacy rights and freedom online.
This year a special "Big Brother" shirt will be printed, and you're able to design it!
I will personally pick the winning design, and Tjunk will be printing it. Will all Big Brother- visitors walk around in your shirt soon?

More info here and English translation on request....

www.bigbrotherawards.nl/2011/0…
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: Adele
  • Reading: Viva
  • Watching: Tournee
  • Playing: with boys
  • Eating: cracker
  • Drinking: orange juice
For charity event "Serious Request" I am giving away a workshop to the highest bidder! is.gd/iPTxf


Dit is een unieke kans om een fotoshoot met mij te doen, want enkel en alleen voor Serious Request geef ik een workshop weg aan de hoogste bieder!

Bied hier; is.gd/iPTxf

De workshop wordt verzorgd door topfotograaf Patrick Kaas dus naast dat je mij in je portfolio kunt zetten, leer je ook nog eens de kneepjes van het vak!

Ik doe normaal geen fotoshoots met amateurfotografen! Dit is de 1ste en laatste workshop die ik doe, dus grijp deze uniek kans en bied! De gehele opbrengst gaat via 3FM's Serious Request naar de hulp voor AIDS-kindjes.

En wellicht zie ik jou snel...!  
Ancilla
is.gd/iPTxf
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: Robyn
  • Reading: mama tandoori
  • Watching: Groot Dictee
  • Playing: in a 3D shortfilm
  • Eating: yoghurt
  • Drinking: hot lemon juice
I am looking for you ;-)
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: MTV RIP
  • Reading: gangsterliefje tegen wil en dank
  • Watching: modelmayhem
  • Playing: all work no play
  • Eating: grilled cheese sandwich. So shoot me.
  • Drinking: hot soy chocolate (it's storming outside)
I will be in L.A. soon and I have some windows open for photoshoots! Unfortunatly I've been too busy to prepare properly for my trip and I haven't been able to do my research on talented photographers in the area. Perhaps you are  or know anyone....! I've worked with most of the big names out there, Steve Diet Goedde, Christine Kessler, Chad Michael Ward, Lithium Picnic, Michael Helms, Allan Amato etc. so my preference would be fresh blood ;-) hihi

At the moment I'm busy prepping for Burning Man festival in the Nevada desert. I've been wanting to go ever since I was a little girl and I saw it on tv, not knowing whatI was looking at exactly! So this is sortof a dream come true for me :-) I'm very excited!
  • Mood: Euphoric
  • Listening to: Aphex twin
  • Reading: In alle staten - Max Westerman
  • Watching: my email
  • Playing: with green make-up
  • Eating: Raw Revolution bar
  • Drinking: water
"How do I become a model?"

I still get this question quite a lot so I figured it'd be better to answer this publically where everyone can read. Ofcourse there are so many things to keep in mind that will apply to every individual who's thinking about modeling, but I will keep it simple and start with the basics...

Do you have pictures? You will need some. They don't need to be great, but you need to be able to show photographers you want to work with what you look like. In the beginning you will not want to get paid for shoots because you are a starting model and you will want to work with good people who you should be honored with to work with without paying them. (generally called "TFCD"- Time For CD, with all your pics on a disc or "TFP"- time for print- and less usefull in this digital era)
This is about building a portfolio.

When do you have a full and finished portfolio? Never! It is always a work in progress, because you are too, always busy improving yourself and working with better people. The trick is to use good pictures to get even better photographers to work with you, and build your way up to a kick ass collection of pictures that represent you, your look, and your interests well.



Let's start with looks!
Ofcourse there is waaaaaay more to modelling then just the way you look, but nonetheless it's your base so make sure there is something there to start with. This is something that not everyone wants to hear, but most of us are not photogenic at all. Don't get me wrong; I know SO many woman who are absolutely stunning in real life, but when you see them in picture it doesn't quite translate. There are also a lot of examples of topmodels who you wouldn't give a second look if they passed you by on the street. Don't measure your selfworth or even your appearence by how you look in pictures. It's hard to say exactly what it is that makes you photogenic, it's just a matter of taking enough photographs of yourself and showing them to others to figure out wether or not you're fit to be a model. Good news is, you cán actually practice it to a certain degree, it's also a matter of doing a lot of photoshoots and figuring out what pose, look, angle, hairdo etc.. looks best on you. Great models don't drop out of the sky, they are formed by experience and ambition. The fact is though, professional modelling is only fit for a tiny amount of people, just like being a chess champion, pro soccer player, or award winning apple pie maker. Don't be sad if it turns out you're not fit to model professionally, you can always do it for fun and you are bound to have some other qualities that are unique in you and give you the potential to be one of the best in your field, whatever that may be.



What kind of model do you want to be?

Fetish modelling is very different from let's say runway/bikini/fashion modelling. This is a very new profession, if you can call it a profession at all, because it really is damn hard to make a living out of it. In fact, don't count on being able to do that at all. Especially in Europe, there is hardly any market in it at all. (which is also why I do a lot of non-fetishy modelling) The people you want to work with don't pay, the ones that are willing to pay are usually "dirty old men" that just want to tie you up, take pictures and jerk off to it when you go home. Depending on what your careerplan is, this is propably not a wise thing to get yourself into, let alone pleasant. Talking about careers, putting pictures on the internet is like getting a tattoo. THEY NEVER GO AWAY, no matter how hard you scrub. Count on it that some pictures you're not particularly proud of will come back to haunt you in a few years time. This especially counts when they are fetish or erotically oriented. It might even affect your relationships with people close to you, or companies whom you will want to be hired by in the future. Do you really want the door slammed in your face when you want to work at that lawyers office/bakery/kindergarten? A models career only excist untill her 30's, what is your plan after that? Are you still able to do that after being a fetishmodel? I know it's annoying having to think about that already, but unfortunatly not everyone-actually most people- are not openminded at all and you will have to take your future and people who you will meet in the future into consideration. Even I have been turned down by companies for "doing porn" and all I ever did was get my tits out. AArrghh!

What about future boyfriends who will have to live with the fact that the whole world has seen you in positions that are usually only meant for his eyes?
Think about this before you start... There are a lot of downsides to the business. If you are going to take the plunge you have to be damn sure you are doing this because your heart is in it.

As I said, what kind of model do you want to be? What is YOUR fetish? (not sure? Then don't even think of becoming a fetishmodel!) There are a lot of different types of models, and depending on your look there will be a bigger or smaller market for you. You've got latex models, bondage models, bdsm models, corsetry models, burlesque models, gothic models.... and the list goes on... Fetishmodelling is generally more forgiving if we're talking sizes, shapes, haircolour, etc.. But if you want to be modelling corsets, you will need a great wasteline, hips and a nice bosom. Love walking on high heels &stockings? You will need endless legs. Want to get into bondage? Some flexibilty, endurance and a face that looks good helpless is required! Find out what your interest in fetish is and wether it strokes with what mother nature has given you. You can also get a helping hand at the beautician or plastic surgeon ofcourse, but be realistic about what you can and cannot achieve with that and the risks that come with it.

As a fetishmodel you will need to show much more initiative and interest in things then a fashion model who is sent out to casting by an agency. View this as a hobby, not a job. You cannot sit by the phone and wait for some agency to call and say they have a gig for you. ALL succesfull fetishmodels that I know are 100% selfmade and do not work through an agency, but by hard work and getting in contact with people themselves. How do you do that? Internet! Put yourself out there, on myspace, modelmayhem, onemodelplace ... etc.. It is also usefull to go to parties and meet other models, organisers, designers and photographers in person, and to get a better understanding of the fetish scene in general.
A decent amount of investing in your fetish wardrobe is required, because people will not just hand you stuff to wear on shoots if you haven't made a name for yourself yet. Then again, if your interest in fetishism is genuine, you have propably collected some nice wardrobe items already.

I hope my rambling are usefull to you and I wish you all the best of luck in what you want to do!
  • Mood: Fear
  • Listening to: Aaliyah R.I.P.
  • Reading: Death becomes them
  • Watching: LA sunset
  • Playing: dress up
  • Eating: veggie thai
  • Drinking: coconut juice
Great news, I just found out I'm in Playboy USA Special Editions Lingerie edition June/July

The bad news is, i found out a little late and my copies never arrived. It will take 3-4 weeks for Playboy to send them out so I won't get them until it's already old news, which would be a shame. It is not possible to get the American Playboy in the Netherlands

It would be SUPER helpful if any of my deviant watchers has a copy lying around or can grab one on the way home to send me a scan and tell me how many pages it is. This is important "proof" to me which I need to send out a press-release.

I would be forever grateful! I hope someone out there is willing and able to help!!

So, this is concerning Playboy Special Editions Lingerie edition June/July (I hope it's still in stores...!)

www.mobypicture.com/user/ncill… (it's the bottom left issue, i've appeared in two other issues before)
  • Mood: Fear
  • Listening to: Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip
  • Reading: The fear of the freedom - Erich Fromm
  • Watching: My kitty sleep
  • Playing: not enough
  • Eating: Yoghurt blueberries granola honey
  • Drinking: green tea
This month I'm featured in two different American Playboy issues; Special Editions Lingerie & Voluptuous Vixens! That's a total of 10 pages :-)

After having being featured in Dutch Playboy several times; as a Playmate and a cover & editorial by Carli Hermès, it's really a dream coming true for me as a European girl to have a photoshoot in American Playboy as well.

You can find the magazines on shelves all over the USA , some in Europe, and it's also available for order and download on their official website; is.gd/5LCdD

Thank you guys for all of your support, I really appreciate all your sweet comments and emails! Right now I'm having trouble answering them all, sorry for that!
  • Mood: Wow!
  • Listening to: Britney Spears
  • Reading: Playboy Special Editions
  • Watching: The snow outside
  • Playing: with my hair
  • Eating: crackers
  • Drinking: green tea
Tonight at 22.20 (Amsterdam time) you can spot me on the Dutch tv-show Fobiac on veronica where I am interviewed about being a latex model. I will be dressing up the shows presenter Suzanne in a very sexy outfit!
www.tvgids.nl/programma/881346…
  • Mood: Affection
  • Listening to: Fiona Apple
  • Reading: every magazine I can find
  • Watching: Veronica
  • Playing: with the kitties
  • Eating: an apple
  • Drinking: cup a soup
  • Mood: Affection
  • Listening to: Nirvana - Polly
  • Reading: "Het Diner" - Herman Koch
  • Watching: the time
  • Playing: with styling ideas
  • Eating: an apple
  • Drinking: coffee - green tea - coffee - green tea - coffee
I'm happy to announce I'll be making my 5th annual roundtrip USA! :-) Besides live performences i'll have a few days free to do shoots, so if you are or know talented people in any of these cities I would be happy to hear from you in the comments.

I know a lot of talented people that I have worked with in all these cities, but as I know there is so much new upcoming talent every year, I know I can't possibly be familiar with everyone's work and I would love your help with this!

Thank you so much and perhaps i'll be seeing you soon :-)

My Montreal trip will be early October and San Fran & L.A. will be for end October & November
  • Mood: Affection
  • Listening to: Destiny's child - survivor
  • Reading: Taal is zeg maar echt mijn ding
  • Watching: Family guy
  • Playing: with the kitty
  • Eating: grapes
  • Drinking: water
A photogrpaher notified me of the licences DA uses and how they collide with her sales-agreements with other companies. Because of this, unfortunatly, I've had to delete some images although they were quite popular on DA.

" about.deviantart.com/policy/se…, p. 16. DeviantArt requires a royalty-free license, which I'm absolutley not planning to allow for my work. Please make sure you've read their T&C and Copyright Notice before you submit the Work from photographers (copyright holders). This concerns not only DeviantArt, but any other business you share your images with.

These images can be used ONLY FOR YOUR PERSONAL PURPOSES and PORTFOLIO:
- your own website
- website of your model agency
- ModelMayhem, Hyves, Facebook are in principle OK "

The photo's can still be seen on www.modelmayhem.com/ancilla
Thanx for understanding!
  • Mood: Affection
  • Listening to: arabic lounge
  • Reading: bathroom philosophy
  • Watching: the daily show with Jon Stewart
  • Playing: poker - badly
  • Eating: French endive
  • Drinking: tea
Hey guys!

I have been thinking about getting the bdsm emblem tattooed on my body for several years now, and recently I have been spending more and more time researching for the perfect design.

However, it's hard for me to decide on the exact design, one of the reasons being that I haven't found one that I feel is exactly right for me. Since it's going to be on my body for many years to come I don't want to do it half-heartedly!

The symbol has a significant meaning and details that make it stand for what it stands, so not much can be changed about the basic design, on the other hand, I would also like it to be PRETTY, feminine, and unique. So far I haven't found such a design.

That's where you might come in! I know there are so many really talented and creative artists on DA, I figured I'd give it a try to see if any DA'ers have a pretty design in mind. I already bumped into some wonderful designs, but not yet the perfect one.

I can't offer much in return but ofcourse the chosen design will have the honour of being on my body fohevurrrr ;-)

Here is a useful link to explain what the symbol looks like and what it is and is not. emblemproject.sagcs.net/is.htm

Some pointers for the design are that it needs to fit onto my body, so not be too big and masculine of a design. That is one of the objections I have with the traditional design, it looks quite manly to me.

It would be nice if it's somewhat subtle since it might be on a visible place and it'd be fun to keep people guessing if it's an actual symbol or just "pretty".

For me, bdsm is a lot about love, so if the symbol could represent both that would be totally awesome. Cute hearts are nice, but I wonder how good they will look when I'm 50.

I hope you can help me out!!
  • Mood: Affection
  • Listening to: vivaldi
  • Reading: In his hands
  • Watching: Gia
  • Playing: peek a boo
  • Eating: crackers and carrots
  • Drinking: water
Well, that's what you would think if you saw this photo: nheoandleah.deviantart.com/art…

As you can see, this nice person stole my photo and badly photoshopped someone else's face (her own?) onto it. Here is the original photo: ancillatilia.deviantart.com/ar…

People pretending to be me seems to be happening a lot lately, so if you happen to find someone doing it, please let me know.
  • Mood: Affection
But thankfully there's another link, same video (in English)!

Watch the video here:  bit.ly/3DjKk


Hope you can all watch it now! Thank you for letting me know about the broken link guys!
  • Mood: Affection
Thank you all for tuning in last night for the liveshow!
Since you asked, here is the English version of the video:

English version on youtube: bit.ly/lwHPN

If you like it, please send it to all of your friends and post it where you can! It's for a good cause.

Thanx so much!
Kisses, Ancilla
  • Mood: Affection
Today, Mondaynight 22nd of June at 7.30pm Amsterdam time I will be stripping LIVE & FREE on www.AncillaStript.nl!
I will be doing this for the Dutch animal-charity Wakker Dier - or translated "Awake Animal" - who named me "most sexy vegetarian of 2008".

The website is in Dutch but if you fill in your email address on the bottom of the screen you will be alerted when I am about to take off my clothes! I assure you, you won´t regret it!

www.AncillaStript.nl

*DUTCH*
Maandagavond 22 Juni om 19.30 ga ik live en gratis uit de kleren op www.AncillaStript.nl !
Wakker Dier riep mij vorig jaar uit tot "Meest sexy vegetarier van 2008" en samen willen wij met deze actie een nieuwe doelgroep bereiken om voor te lichten over de bio-industrie. Mis het niet en geef je op voor een Ancilla-Alert!
  • Mood: Affection